peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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