I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
