Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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