I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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