i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
