I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
