is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
