She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
