He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
