i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize