if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
