I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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