does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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