You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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