I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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