When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
