you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
