We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
