Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
