from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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