That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize