Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You pole danced in your parka.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
