are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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