I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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