I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
