one two three fourrrrnication!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
