Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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