She is in my trunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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