"it" just moved
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
