Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
