We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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