Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
