I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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