At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
