i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
