Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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