if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize