You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
