Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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