I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
