Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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