He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
