A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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