seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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