Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
