I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
