Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
