I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
