I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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