At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
