It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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