My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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