do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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