i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
