you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
