tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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