i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize