You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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