Me too!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
