So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
only if we run a train.
done.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
