Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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