We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
