So drunk its hurt
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just made my gag reflex go away.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
