I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
